Sand and Water - Dealing with Loss

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is beyond description. 

I think that as human beings we have a need to make sense of that which defies our senses and all that we hold as true. 

I recently experienced the loss of my childhood friend, Lori Beckerman. What a beautiful and brilliant flame she was. Feeling loss again is my prompt for writing this article.

For those of you that know me, you know I can speak to this as I've lived through grief too many times to count.
But that's the point: I have lived through it.
I have survived.

Believe it or not, one of the cruelest truths to a surviving spouse, child, parent, sibling, or friend, is that 'life goes on'.
How can 'life go on'? It somehow doesn't seem right or even logical. The sun continues to rise, the children continue to laugh in the playground, and the earth continues to spin with us on it. Don't the birds know how much pain I am in. How dare the sun shine so brightly when my loved one is gone?

And that's the point. Life does go on and we are here to live our lives to the fullest. We have to go on living because the alternative is not an option. We have children who need us, or maybe parents, friends, colleagues...

Over the years I have found certain books, but especially certain songs very helpful in pinning my emotions and helping me understand and express what I was feeling inside.

Here is one example:

Lyrics by Beth Nielson Chapman

All alone I didn't like the feeling
All alone I sat and cried
All alone I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die

Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he's just bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by

What do you think? What helps you cope?

 

Wishing you love and peace,